I just want a stiff wind to blow it all away.
I set my alarm an hour early, forgetting that I couldn’t go to the gym before work today. When I look out my bedroom window I see a dark cloud. Well, I see the CNOOC mainly and above and around it I see this dark cloud. It’s not yet light enough for me to tell if it’s smog or just a mist, though I suspect the former given how things are here.
The lunar new year holiday is over and as always new years I am restless. With all the changes that have come with past new years I understand better now that the setting is only one small part of my dissatisfaction-inspired wanderlust. I think it may be cliché, but the statement “wherever you go, there you are” rings truer now. I’ve been doing better this time around though. I’ve tried out some lifestyle changes and though mostly just small tweaks in my habits, the effects are considerable and evident to me.
I’m think I’m still a long way off from complacency, so there is probably much more opportunity for vaguely introspective posts like this yet.
[note: written mostly this morning after I woke up but before showering, and edited slightly to be posted now in the afternoon]
3 responses so far ↓
1 geddes // Feb 3, 2009 at 2:53 am
>I’m think I’m still a long way off from >complacency
Me too.
2 tropicanana // Feb 9, 2009 at 1:46 pm
i still really like that description of “hungry ghost” from buddha or bust (not sure if it’s a universal concept.. seems like it appears in different places with slightly different meanings)
anyway, i get that feeling every once in awhile.. the anxious, apprehensive, ill-at-ease-with-current-situation feeling, but i think it waxes and wanes.
i remember obama in dreams from my father said something to the likes of how he was restless and goes on about that. I wish I could find the quote but I can’t right now. But, anyhow, it seems like for lots of people, ambition is predicated on a sense of restlessness. Don’t know if that’s depressing or inspiring, but I think there’s some element of truth in that. (Though I guess there are people with drive and ambition who are content.. maybe? Or does one negate the possibility of the other?)
3 tropicanana // Feb 9, 2009 at 1:50 pm
wait, maybe this is it:
“In me, one of those flaws had proven to be a chronic restlessness; an inability to appreciate, no matter how well things were going, those blessings that were right there in front of me. It’s a flaw that is endemic to modern life, I think–endemic, too, in the American character–and one that is nowhere more evident than in the field of politics.”
I felt like there was more to it, though. Oh well.
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