pantsfarm

I was looking over some pretty old archives from blogs I kept back in high school and it’s been a kind of weird experience. It was motivated by finding somebody else’s blog that they kept up for a short while a few years ago but have since abandoned. I considered briefly the idea of asking them about it, or if not mustering the courage to do even that, merely placing references to it in visible places until they noticed and raised the issue themselves.

But then I thought, “Wait, if somebody went and read something I wrote a few years ago, and then did that, what would I think of them?” So I went and started reading the stuff I have saved on my computer.

I’ve been lax on keeping this up lately anyway, and for now, I don’t expect that will change.

Going back and reading myself, the slightly cruder, very angry, occasionally depressing and sometimes laugh-inducing self of a few years ago yielded this choice quote.

I think I have too much to hide. Too many thoughts and ideas of which I can’t tell anybody, because they are really evil. You know what else is true? There is very little good that can come of keeping a personal journal, or diary. The most that could come of it is that I would have the means for remembering stuff from now, when I’m old, however, what’s more likely is that I’ll write something that I don’t think I should/could tell anybody, and it will be read in spite of my best efforts to prevent that.

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I became more comfortable with the idea of having this record, having a blog, whatever, for a while, but it’s starting to seem like a bad idea again. Maybe I’ll just stop for a while. I kind of already have. Without an easy reminder, maybe now I can forget.