pantsfarm

I’ve been in kind of a funk the last couple weeks, and I’m not sure why. If I did I guess I probably would have done something better to get out of it.

Really, everything is going great. I’ve got nothing to complain about. I’ve got a fun job that puts me in touch with all sorts of really cool people. I live a lifestyle well beyond what I could probably afford if I lived in the US. Right now, I’ve even got the company of a very good old friend until August.

So what’s the problem?

I feel like I’m losing touch with old friends, and it’s happening at a pace faster than I’m making new ones.

Another thing that’s bothered me a little recently is the facebook feed and how it is a constant reminder of the things everybody else is doing, and I am not.

Actually when my friend first arrived here, it was somewhat jarring to suddenly have this constant reminder of all the things I can’t any longer take for granted, but could if I wasn’t here.

Having this constant awareness of what I’m missing is draining. But what’s wrong with me that all I can see in these things are the things that I’m missing. If I pause and think about it just a little longer, as I did a few paragraphs back, I see that while I may be losing access to some things, I am probably making up for it in other ways that are available to me precisely because of the choices I’ve made to end up here.

Maybe if I find something better to do with those precious few hours between getting home and going to sleep I’ll feel more of a sense of satisfaction. As it is, catching up on old TV shows just isn’t that rewarding, because even when I do, unlike before, it’s just not the same social experience to talk about them after, anymore.