pantsfarm

So yesterday, evidenced a little by the photos of all the food, we had a bit of a dinner party and had lots of people over for Christmas dinner. A typical consequence of this kind of gathering with lots of people considerably older than me, is the frequently being asked what I’m planning on doing with my life. Maybe not quite that question. Yesterday it was mostly, “So, you’re a senior now? What are you doing next year.” To this I’d reply something to the effect of, “Well I don’t want to go to more school, and so I’m looking for a job.” Sometimes sooner, sometimes later, this would inevitably lead to the question, “What kind of job are you looking for? What do you want to do?”

And the answer then, as it is now even still, is “I don’t know.”

And it’s really upsetting. For every person that replied to this suggesting that it’s totally fine to spend some time figuring out what to do, there was the person making the offhand remark that I better figure it out quick, because the longer I wait, the harder it (whatever that “it” is) will be.

What do I want to do? I keep thinking that I’ll spend some time thinking about it just so I can have an answer I’m comfortable giving when asked, but I still can’t think of anything.